Water Lilies: Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine: Fireside Confessions

 Yukikura, three months ago:

"She likes you," Makoto stated, effortlessly stepping over the large rock in her path. The late April day was cool but not cold, a perfect day for hiking the botanist mentioned and Ami had to agree with her. Earlier in the day Makoto had decided to kill two birds with one stone by asking Ami if she wanted to take a hike to see the water lilies. It had been purely a whim on Makoto's part asking her suddenly but Ami was happy to reply immediately with a yes.

"Huh?" The query was a little more than a huff of air as Ami stepped over the rock as well. Apparently while riding her bike gave her exercise, it was not enough to keep her in the same shape as the fit brunette.

"What are you talking about, Makoto?"

"Yuri. She likes you."

Ami shook her head even though the brunette could not see her. "Impossible."

The botanist turned around, "Why is it so impossible? She was beside herself when asking you over for dinner. You didn't see the way she looked at you. When was the last time you went on a date anyway?"

"It's not a date, it's just dinner at her place. She's a nice young woman, that's all." Ami insisted. There was no way Yuri could be interested in her. Although, Ami had in fact noticed the young woman was attractive but that was the extent of it. "Anyway, you shouldn't spy on others."

Makoto made a noise that could be determined as rude but she didn't speak.

"And," Ami added, "I made it a rule not to date people I work with."

Makoto paused, waiting for Ami to catch up. "You have too many self imposed rules. You, my friend, need to loosen up," she said lightly. Casting an appraising eye on Ami, Makoto took in the appearance of the short silky blue hair, deep eyes, pink lips and creamy skin. Ami, as usual, did not seem to know how physically attractive she was.

"Do you date the people you work with?" The doctor asked.

Makoto shook her head no, but before Ami could interrupt, she spoke again, "However, if there were any good looking women about, I wouldn't hesitate to ask." The brunette grinned at Ami, her eyes twinkling merrily.

The doctor felt contradicting emotions of irritation and pleasure. Irritation at the botanist's words and pleasure at the smile aimed her way. For as long as she lived, no one made her feel the way Makoto did. The woman could simply smile and reduce her to a puddle. No, no, this kind of thinking is bad. She looked around with the intent of finding something to distract her, anything to get certain thoughts of the brunette off her mind. Yes, because she isn't standing right in front of you now. The Usagi voice pointed out and she deemed it a traitor for stating the obvious.

She looked around at the budding bushes and trees, the rocky mountains in the distance, at Makoto's perfectly shaped rear encased in worn jeans, to the fox slinking off a few yards away, back to Makoto's derriere...Mesmerized by the pendulum-like swinging of Makoto's hips, Ami's face grew warm. She licked her lips, her hands itching to caress the tall woman leading the way. Stop it! You're not a randy teenager! She told herself. A wicked voice shot back, No, you're being a lecherous adult. Ami scowled.

Makoto, finding Ami a bit too silent turned around to catch Ami scowling. It was a rare expression seen on the woman's face. "Something wrong?"

Ami's face relaxed into a smile the brunette was familiar with. "Oh! Nothing to worry about." To change the subject she asked, "How much further?"

"Another twenty minutes down this trail." Makoto answered, completely aware Ami was avoiding the question. She filed it away, to ask another time. There were moments when she felt Ami was hiding something. She often thought to respect Ami's privacy, but now it occurred to her it would not be such a terrible thing to change the shape of their current friendship. Makoto blinked, Where did that thought come from? And why the need for change?

Occasionally, the thought of Yuri placing her hand on Ami's arm surfaced in Makoto's consciousness, leaving her with an indescribable feeling. The assistant seemed nice enough and Ami enjoyed her company, she could tell. It was obvious there was nothing wrong with the two of them spending time together, if it meant Ami had some companionship. So, why did the idea of the two of them leave her unsettled?

The rest of the hike was completed in near silence, broken when they made observations of the animals and plants they passed; surreptitiously stealing glances at each other when they thought the other too occupied to notice.

-x-x-x-

Passing through the break of the naturally formed walls, Ami felt her breath catch as she stared at the scenery in front of her. In the middle of the small valley, a pond formed and spread outwards. Flat, round green leaves lay atop the clear water, halfway covering the pond interspersed with budding bits of blue.

"You should see it in summertime." Makoto said proudly, standing at Ami's side. "It really is a sight to behold when everything is blooming." She looked at Ami's entranced expression. "When the lilies open up, they're a most spectacular shade of blue..." Ami glanced at her then and Makoto fell into pthalo blue eyes, deep as the ocean. Her chest constricted, her breath grew short, The color of your eyes...

"Makoto?" Ami's voice was low, the intensity of Makoto's gaze surprising her.

She blinked, awareness flooding her as Ami stared at her with concern. She looked away quickly. "Sorry, I was just thinking of something."

"Oh...well, I'll just get out of your way while you work," said Ami as she backed away a few feet. Catching sight of a flickering tail in the crystalline water Ami followed along the bank as it disappeared under a lily pad. The head of a koi floated up and almost out of the water. It's as if it wanted to taste the air, Ami thought with a smile. A couple of fish joined the first, creating a group. Ami giggled to herself when they carried the appearance of a dance troupe doing an interpretive dance.

Several feet away Makoto delved into the slim knapsack she carried on her shoulders during the hike. Taking out a notebook, and a digital camera she immediately went to work snapping a few pictures. Glancing over at Ami, she saw the doctor leaning close to the water, a most child-like look of joy on her face. She quickly pointed the camera in the other woman's direction and captured the expression. Rarely did she see Ami's countenance in such a manner during their interactions. It would be a shame to not chronicle something so wonderful.

Smiling in triumph at the photo of a clearly unguarded Ami, Makoto snapped a few more shots before picking up the notebook to make her observations. She loved coming to this small undisturbed valley. An untouched paradise nestled among mountains, nature prospered, a perfect balance to be found amidst each life form. She truly felt at peace here, away from the bustle of people and technology. This was her haven.

A low rumble in the distance made Ami look up. Alarm grew in her at the sight of fat gray clouds hanging low over the horizon and above them.

"Makoto!"

The botanist glanced up from her notebook at Ami's apprehensive tone. Following the doctor's gaze upwards she muttered "Crap."

"Makoto, did you check the weather today?" Ami asked. Another rumble sounded in the distance and she felt a drop of water landing on her.

"Yes. Damn it, that idiot weatherman said no rain all weekend." Makoto growled, as she hurriedly threw her notebook and camera into her bag. She saw the rain descending, obscuring the view of the other side of the valley as it fell. It would be upon them in seconds. Cursing the fact that she did not have the foresight to bring either a raincoat or umbrella just in case, she grabbed Ami's hand in her own.

Ami was confused when Makoto took her hand. "What are you doing?"

"Come on, I know a spot we can hide out nearby." Makoto, called out to Ami behind her as she started to run. Ami could do nothing but hold onto the taller woman's hand and follow. An unexpected rush of exhilaration filled her as the smell of ozone entered her nostrils, the acute feeling of her hand in Makoto's. They were soaked in moments, the heavy rain blurring the surroundings until Ami felt like they were the only two people in the world. Makoto laughed wildly as they ran, and Ami felt an echoing of the same amusement building up in her until it burst forth. Laughing like loons, Makoto led the way to a shallow cave roughly the size of a fourteen foot square room. They stood at the wide mouth of the enclosure, looking outwards at the downpour while they caught their breaths.

"How did you know about this cave?" Ami asked, when she finally turned around to peruse the interior. In the center of the grotto was a stone fire pit and a bit of leftover ash. In another corner of the cave she spotted a small bundle of dried branches and twigs. She looked back at Makoto in confusion.

The brunette scratched a cheek self-consciously. "Sometimes, when I have vacations I come here to camp out."

Ami's jaw dropped at the admission. "You camp out during your vacations?"

Makoto nodded, almost shyly. The doctor glanced around the cave again. In a way it made sense, of all the scenarios to picture Makoto this fit the brunette the most. A smile grew on Ami's face while she shook her head. Only Makoto could surprise her like this after all this time.

The brunette stayed at the mouth of the cave as Ami entered further. The reminder that they were both wet occurred to Makoto when she noticed the way the woman's clothing clung to her. The pale yellow shirt Ami wore was now practically see through, the camisole with a simple lace border under the woman's shirt noticeable. Her eyes ventured lower to view the formfitting jeans. Wait, why am I checking Ami out? Ami spun around and the botanist's green gaze darted up into azure guiltily. They stared at each other, Makoto quickly forgetting the pang of guilt she felt a moment ago.

Ami's breath caught in her throat from the sudden heat of the brunette's gaze. Her nipples started to harden under the woman's attention and Ami felt sudden horror Makoto might notice. Quickly, she brought her arms up from her sides to fold them in front of her chest. Ami's abrupt movement broke the spell overtaking Makoto.

"Are you cold?" The tall woman asked.

Ami nodded, not trusting her voice to speak. To think her body was starting to betray her just because Makoto looked her way. Maybe the brunette was right, perhaps it was time she went out on a date. The inner voice called Usagi spoke, What if she was looking at you? As in, finally looking the way you've wanted her to for years. Ami scoffed to herself. Makoto does not date women like me, there's just no way.

Her eyes followed the movements of the tall woman who now stooped next to the fire pit arranging a few pieces of kindling. Satisfied with the preparation the brunette reached into her backpack to bring out a box of matches.

Matches.

This was the type of woman Ami was in love with, someone who preferred a small cave in a valley hidden away from mankind over a five star hotel in a faraway city; a woman who seemed prepared for everything and even if she was not, she somehow found a way to make things better. And she would never have her. Ami felt an ache in her chest, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. She turned away, facing the mouth of the cave and the rain to avoid Makoto's eyes. Her periphery showed the woman bending over the tiny flame, gently feeding it puffs of air and kindling. She quickly swiped at the tears, determined not to fall apart with only Makoto for company.

Clearing her throat she joined the woman at the fire. Makoto glanced up, an easy grin on her face. "Not bad, huh?"

Ami could not help but smile back, "Not bad, indeed. I never knew you were such an expert camper." She teased.

Makoto's expression turned serious. "It seems there are a lot of things we don't know about each other."

They stared into the fire, each lost in thought about the other. The flames licked the air and urged them to speak. Both felt hesitant about breaking the silence.

"Ami." Makoto's voice was low.

"Hmm?" The answering tone just as low, the doctor sat with her legs drawn up in front of her chest, chin resting on her knees.

"Why are you avoiding dating? Aren't you interested in a relationship?"

Ami pretended she didn't hear the questions, instead asking, "Do you think the rain will let up soon?"

Makoto snorted. "Ami, you're doing a terrible job of changing the topic."

There was no answer for a while and Makoto decided not to demand one, Ami probably had a good reason. Therefore, she was surprised when the woman began to speak.

"I've had a few relationships," Ami began."They just didn't work out."

"Why? I can't imagine someone not wanting to be with you. Ami, you're amazing!"

You didn't think so.

Ami lowered her face to her knees, wanting to hide for moment from the unfair thought and Makoto's searching look. Sighing she lifted her head.

"It wasn't them, it was me."

Makoto looked confused.

"I compared everyone to my first love and found them all lacking." Ami admitted with her heart pounding. The revelation brought forth quiet and she felt the need to elaborate. "They were wonderful people. I-I just wanted someone I could not have."

"Usagi?" Makoto was curious to find out who could have such a lasting effect on her friend.

Ami pinked, shaking her head as she stared into the flames. "Not Usagi. You don't know the them." Berating herself for lying, she refused to look at the emerald eyed woman.

Silence permeated the cave, the only sound present the crackling of the fire and the sounds of rain.

Some time had passed, Makoto shifting until she was laying on her back looking up at the ceiling; her arms were crossed under her head. "I've never been in love."

Ami merely waited, she knew the botanist would continue speaking.

Perhaps it was the comfort of the low fire, of Ami's unassuming presence and the fact that Ami shared something she usually kept to herself; Makoto felt the need to share something in return.

"I promised myself I would never fall in love. From a young age I saw what it could do to someone." She glanced at Ami and saw woman nod at her to continue.

"My father walked out on us-my mother and I-when I was six years old. I will always remember the contemptuous look he threw my way before he left. But what I will remember most is my mother. My father leaving simply broke her. She sat around waiting for him to return, forgetting everything else. Including the fact she had a daughter."

"Oh, Makoto," Ami breathed, placing a hand on the woman's arm. Her eyes shone with unshed tears for young Makoto.

"I vowed I would never be that kind of woman." The brunette said quietly as she looked away.

A lull invaded once again and Ami realized the sound of rain could no longer be heard. Makoto reached the same conclusion. Taking out a water bottle from her bag she poured the contents over the low flames, effectively dousing it.

"We should go now since the rain has stopped." She stated, her voice huskier than usual.

Ami only nodded, words failing her as she followed the brunette's footsteps towards home. Because of Makoto's usual cheery personality, she would have never assumed the woman bore such pain deep inside. The afternoon had turned into a bittersweet one indeed.

-x-x-x-

"We're back!" Ami called out as they stepped into the entryway of the house. Upon receiving no answer Ami called out again.

"Grandma Hana?" Taking off her hiking boots, Ami stepped towards the telephone resting on a low table in the hallway. There was a notepad located next to the phone, used not only for messages but for notes to the two inhabitants of the house.

Ami-chan,

Takeda-kun is taking Maya and

Yumi-chan to the hot springs for an

overnight stay. I was invited as well.

I imagine I'll be long gone by the time

you kids get back. I will see you tomorrow

afternoon.

-Hana

p.s. You should offer Makoto some of the

plum sake.

She looked up to find Makoto staring at her with a raised eyebrow. "She went an overnight trip to the hot springs."

"Hot springs, huh? Lucky old woman, I could use a nice soak too." Stretching as she grinned, Makoto appeared to be back to normal, the melancholy displayed in the cave and during the walk back evidently dispelled.

Or buried deep inside once again, Ami guessed to herself.

She decided to follow the woman's example and put aside all heavy thoughts for now. Working together, they made dinner in easy silence. It was not the first time Makoto used the kitchen. The fare was simple and delicious, perhaps more so because of their hungry bellies. Ami decided to take Hana's suggestion and served sake to a most willing Makoto and to herself as well. They spoke of safe topics, Ami shared anecdotes of the villagers; Makoto mentioned life in Tokyo and news of Usagi and Mamoru, Rei and Mina, Haruka and Michiru and their children.

The evening passed quickly in that manner and after dinner they retired to the living room with another tokkuri of sake. The brunette found herself most impressed with the alcohol when Ami mentioned it was made by Hana.

"Is there anything that woman can't do?" Ami could tell Makoto was nearing an intoxicated state from the slight slurring of her words.

The doctor giggled before taking another sip of her sake. "I'm going to be thirty this year and I'm still in awe. I think I'll forever be in amazed by grandma Hana."

Ami took another sip before continuing,"Did she tell you about Keiko? I came home for my first break-"

A soft snore interrupted her story. Ami glanced at Makoto and saw the woman laying forward, her upper body resting on the low table. Her lips were parted as gentle snores escaped.

Ami yawned. "That has to be uncomfortable," she muttered before settling herself into a position like that of the other woman. Her eyes drifted close seconds after laying her head down on the table.

-x-x-x-

She awoke shivering, her neck and back feeling cramped from sleeping in such an awkward position. Makoto lay in the same spot across from her. Rubbing a hand at the back of her neck, Ami stood and checked the time. One a.m., plenty of sleep to still be had, she thought blearily.

Leaving Makoto in the living room, she headed towards the bedrooms to prepare futons for the brunette and herself. Feeling quite sober and awake once she finished the task she made her way to back to Makoto's side.

Laying a hand on the brunette's, she called out gently. "Makoto."

The tall woman raised a hand as if to swat an annoying fly. "G'way," she muttered with her eyes closed.

"Come on Makoto...There's a futon ready for you." The botanist grunted and rose shakily to her legs with Ami helping her up. Fortunately, their bedrooms were located next to each other, so Ami did not have far to go once she escorted the woman to her usual room. Ami opened the door and Makoto straightened up beside her.

"Ami." Despite her husky voice, Makoto looked quite lucid and awake. Ami turned to face her.

Blinking, the doctor was shocked to find warm lips atop her own, Makoto's arms wrapped around her body holding her close. The thought occurred to Ami that something was not quite right but the heated assault of the brunette's lips upon her own made any protest she formed to quickly die away. Her eyes closed, she leaned into Makoto's strong form.

The kiss confirmed everything she had ever felt from the moment they met. Lips parted, the brunette's tongue invaded her mouth and Ami moaned in pleasure, shudders wracking her body as the sweetness of Makoto's mouth left her intoxicated in a way sake never could. They both sighed as the kiss ended.

"Goodnight Ami." Spoken in a whisper, Makoto stepped into the room pulling the door closed behind her automatically.

Ami stood in the hallway, frozen. Her lips positively tingled. Finally she noticed the other woman has already gone. Mechanically making her way to her own bed, she undressed all the while being incredible aware of the woman in the next room. Tossing and turning, she did not sleep until the tinge of dawn arrived.

When Ami awoke again the sun sat high in the sky, and the house too quiet. She checked the kitchen first, then the guest room. Panic brushed at her, ready to rush in and fill all the spaces within her. There was no sign of Makoto or her things. All she found was a short note.

Dear Ami,

Thank you for letting me stay,

as usual. Unfortunately, I have to be

back in Tokyo by evening so I need an

early head start. Sorry I didn't wake

you or make any breakfast,

I figured you could use all the sleep

especially after drinking all that sake.

I'll be in touch.

-Mako

Ami crumpled the note, disappointment laying heavy in her, leaving her almost nauseous. How many times now? How many times did she have any kind of hope only to find it shattered, much like her heart?

---

Note: Tokkuri - ceramic flask used to serve sake.