A Long Walk

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and its characters are the property of Naoko Takeuchi and Kodansha.

A Long Walk

Ami panted for breath, her right hand slipping out of her pajama bottoms. Her hand was damp, fingers sticky and wet, her throat dry as she heaved for air. The urge to cry already overwhelmed her and she didn't fight it, instead she allowed the tears to run freely. Curling up into a fetal position she wondered when it would end once and for all. The pain, guilt, sadness, lust and last of all, love. The love for someone who had no intention of ever loving her.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

The clock on the wall above her head clicked disapprovingly onto two a.m. When will you stop this torture? It seemed to ask and Ami seconded the sentiment. She was wide awake, restless. The exertion of satisfying herself had long ago ceased to make her tired. Laying still for a moment her mind raced. Studying held no appeal. Neither did swimming. Many nights she stayed awake like this. Sometimes she was captured in a fretful sleep which left her bleary eyed and sluggish throughout the day.

The sweat on her skin cooling, Ami was enveloped in guilt once more; a dirty feeling encapsulating her at the realization that she used heragain to let loose dormant desires. Getting up from her bed, Ami walked into the bathroom, her rumpled pajama bottoms falling in a crumpled heap on the floor as she unbuttoned the top. Turning on the shower, the spray of water already making the tiles slick as moisture dripped down the walls. As the water adjusted to the lukewarm temperature she set, Ami meticulously folded the clothing she removed before laying them atop the clothes hamper.

The water could not wash away the dirty feeling of course but it would wash away the salty sweat that previously beaded on her skin. Her chest ached, a melancholic emotion loose within the confines of her torso, pushing against her heart and her lungs especially; creating the sensation of barely being able to breathe. The last of her tears were chased away when she turned her face up towards the spray.

A curious feeling of detachment filled her for a moment and she allowed her body to do as it pleased. It was no surprise to herself when she found she was dressed and facing the cool night air, the front door open ahead of her. Stepping through she closed the door behind her, pocketing her key, as her legs moved, right foot in front of the left. It was a dark moonless night and only the sporadic streetlamps offered any sort of oasis from the blackness.

The direction her legs took her in didn't surprise her at all. After all, she had taken this path many times on the nights she could not sleep. Whether it rained, whether it was cool, bright by the light of the moon or dark, like tonight, it was a familiar path she often traced. She did not measure the journey by time, but by the amount of footsteps it always took her to get there. As always they seemed endless but eventually she stopped. Feet planted on the sidewalk she looked up at the building in front of her. Every so often a vehicle passed behind her, their tires on the road creating a swish as they flew by.

She stared up at one particular window, the room lit. An empty smile flickered on her lips for a moment as a tall figure walked past the window. The smile died as another figure followed closely behind. The disappointed ached throbbed before settling into a dull pain, filling her every limb, pushing into her every thought. She turned once more, facing the way she came.

It would be a long walk home.